Thank You

Recently I was going through a rough time with the issue of standing on my own two feet as a woman. I was so depressed that I wanted to relapse. I didn't but I thought about it a lot. I had some medical and legal issues that I needed help with and a good friend was supposed to walk me through the process in order to get my benefits extended. Everything was great and then my friend came into a lot of money. She stopped calling and hanging out with me, leaving me to feel as though I had done something wrong. I confronted her and basically she let me know that she was trimming the vines on her friendships with people who were no longer in her new monetary circle. I was shocked and outraged. I couldn't believe that the same person I had given my last to several times was ditching me because I didn't have as much money as her now. I was also truly hurt and confused as how to proceed with my legal/medical issues. I went back and forth with myself about it and still tried to linger in this persons presence by making myself available to her every whim. I didn't want anything from her, just that she treat me as she always had. I think she felt that her less fortunate friends would start asking for money so she just cut us out of her life. Whatever the case, I didn't want her money, just my old friend back. Thanksgiving day she called me and asked a favor. She wanted me to walk 20 minutes in the pouring rain to the local pharmacy to get her prescription filled for her. She has a car but she was not feeling well. This used to be the kind of things we would do for each other. I had dinner cooking and was about to leave to go to my family's house. My mate suggested I tell her where she could go, but I relented and did as she asked. On the way to the store she called me and asked if I had enough money to get her some soup as well. Sighing I counted my last 4.00 dollars and bought her the things she asked for. I told her I didn't mind but that I would need the money back when I got to her house because it was my last. 2 hours later while I waited for her prescription I finally got back. She then informed me that she couldn't pay me back because she had no change for a 50.00 dollar bill. Sneering, she asked if I had the money to make change. I dont know what brought on this sudden act of cruelty but I kindly handed her the groceries and pills and told her dont worry about it. May of you are probably thinking I am crazy for letting her do this to me, but I spent 5 years in prison and have learned the infinite patience and wisdom of picking and choosing your battles. I went home and cried on my girlfriends shoulder. I then went into my bathroom and said a sincere prayer and asked the universe to guide me and uplift me. That evening I had the best holiday ever with my family. I also had the best nights sleep that I have had in a long time. I still was at a loss about my legal/medical problems. Today, three things happened. I called my counselor and received the awesome news that my benefits will be extended. Apparently all of this time I was supposed to be getting them and wasn't. I too will be getting a nice little chunk of money. This whole time I thought I was doing things wrong by listening to my "friend" and was about to start doing things her way. I was actually doing all that I was supposed to and if I had followed her advice I would have lost my benefits. Also the other person in my life who I also consider a friend had won the lottery for a nice little amount and decided that she wanted to take myself and my girlfriend out to dinner and she also blessed us with money for my outstanding electric bill. Before I go on let me say that this was not and still is not about money. I am grateful for it, but the issue was that I truly believed I had a friend and she wasn't. It was about money for her. Now back to what happened today. I saw my old pal who ditched me, she was very upset and I asked her what was wrong. She did not give me all of the details but basically she had a large sum of her new found wealth taken by another family member that she trusted so much. I did not laugh or take pleasure in the but I did smile to myself that once again when I took my hands off of a situation and let the universe take over, that I am okay today. I don not so much feel blessed because of the money, or that someone got their just deserts. I feel thankful because I saw that I can do this on my own and that where I lost someone in my life, I also gained a much better friend in my neighbor and in myself. I also see that what looks like a tragedy is often a blessing. Lastly I see that I can stand on my own two feet and that even if things dont always turn out for my benefit, that I will be okay as long as I can pray. I chose to be the better person in all of this and I got my self esteem back. All that I can say is THANK YOU!